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... Diary ...

Date ×-» 19.o5.o8
Time ×-» 18:59
Mood ×-» lonely
Music ×-» nothin
Last Talk ×-» Aga [msn]


alone. still kinda sick. im guilty. she was here again. i used to let her cheatin on her boyfriend again. i feel so bad. i miss her. and i wanna feel her again. everytime shes here i am so damn happy u cant even imagine! my god what am i doin?! its just like... i dunno, kinda bad! i mean her boyfriend is such a good friend of mine. i love her though and i dont wanna lose her! we meet every day for sum hours. then shes goin back home, sayin she was at work. she wasnt. i feel bad. i feel bad bad bad! DAMN! is that love? it is! im sure. i dont want it 2 be true! goddamn i dont! but it is and i cant change it anymore.
i wrote a song about that. she doesnt know that but she played the piano though. like.. heres a line i wrote:

"I will always remember the way u looked tonight..."



19.5.08 18:59

Date ×-» 25.o4.o8
Time ×-» o2:16
Mood ×-» still despaired
Music ×-» Don't fade away - Milla Jovovich
Last Talk ×-» Mimo [phone]


i really feel some kinda sick. im so confused. dudes u know a friend of mine thinks i look like her dead friend. thats whya shes angry and dont wanna see me cuz shed go mad seein me. it hurts. (and honestly, i dont think there is a similaritiy to him!) daaamn i never wanted 2 let this happen to our friendship. i love her! godfuckindamnit!!
well maybe i gonna talk 2 a friend of mine, she always helps me. ill try.

25.4.08 02:16

Date ×-» 12.o4.o8
Time ×-» 17:51
Mood ×-» still despaired
Music ×-» Rooftops - Lost Prophets [video]
Last Talk ×-» Sandra [phone]


"I'll come back to you! i promise!"


12.4.08 17:51

Date ×-» o2.o4.o8
Time ×-» 16:28
Mood ×-» despaired
Music ×-» I need you by Avril Lavigne
Last Talk ×-» Aga [msn]

i listen to the sound of the wind.. i hear children playin outside, i watch the clouds passing by. some kinda strange how everything goes...
i got that letter..conscription.. they want me to come. i want to deny. i really do. and i will!
i talked to my best friend. she said if i go she wont talk to me again, if i go she wont wanna see me again. she is ironic but i know that was serious. i dont want to lose her. i love her so much i wont let this happen to our friendship! thinking about never seeing her again makes me sick..
since i got it im not able to sleep. every night i just sit here. i dont even think about anything.

2.4.08 16:28

"When deep sleep falleth on men,
fear came upon me and trembling,
which made all my bones to shake..." 

26.3.08 18:56

"Do you know the terror of he who falls asleep?
to the very toes he is terrified,
because the ground gives way under him,
and the dreams begin..."


22.3.08 05:13

Date ×-» 21.12.o7
Time ×-» 23.58h
Mood ×-» sad
Music ×-» Open your eyes - Goldfinger
Last Talk ×-» i dont know


hey guys
whats been up 2day? it's time to say goodbye. this is my last fucking blog for a long time. so i just wanted to let u know, gonna miss u ahahaha. yeees of course i know you all! :]
and Aga - if u read this.. baby thanx alot 4 the great time! <3 i promised you to write you today, so now i do! the last two fuckin minutes of this day ;] hope 2 write to you again!!! goddamnit i miss you from the bottom of my heart, really! :'( goodbye princess :] ... Annie, love yooouu! gonna see u again in two months. and all the others i forgot about: i love you! :D ahahaha. gonna stop now, i mean its not the end and its not like i would never blog again xD daaamn i wanna write sth, tell you about everything that happened today. honestly today was nothing.

"...cuz every breath that you will take when you are sitting next to me will bring life into my deepest hopes..." 

goddamnit i wanna see how the guy is gonna be proposing marriage to the woman here.. he is so afraid of that, sooo cute :] i hope she'll say "yes"!!! and if not.. i'll kill her!! yes i will!
yeh umm well ... keep checkin out this page ;] have a merry christmas and i wish you all the best for 2008.  


21.12.07 23:58

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